Therapy
by AGL
Summary: After a long battle with sanity since he is already insane Q is commited to a mental health facility after beating the crap out of a nun Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson are already there, Helena comes to see him...but something goes wrong..as it always does..
1. Chapter 1

**This is a weird tale about one of my favorite characters in the JLU…what would happen if the Kook got lock down in a mental facility? Are the doctors ready? Are the inmates ready?**

Therapy

One night, after a long evening of drinking, Q was thrown out of the bar as usual, have been a couple of hard days since being dumped by Helena. On his way home he spotted a nun walking down the road.

After looking at her twice he ran over and tackled her, then proceeded to beat the living shit out of her.

Some people passing by spotted this and called the police.

As the police were pulling him away in handcuffs he looked back and said, "I thought you'd be tougher than that, Batman." Scream while being taken into police custody.

The judge after being call from Bruce Wayne reconsidered the case and send Vic Sage formerly known as "The Question" to face sentence to 4 weeks in a recovering facility….the hospital would never be the same.

This is his tale…

Day 1

Pete the "male nurse" was getting the medicines out of the cabinet of the patient when the Question explained:

The first thing Pete pulled down was a bottle of pills that had been prescribed by a doctor who died six years ago. At this point he had no idea what the prescription was for and, frankly, I'm not even sure it was for me, as the label had faded a long time ago. But since I don't know what it's for, I'll never know when I'll need it. So I told him to put it back…Pete agreed.

I also told him he should also probably keep my vertigo pills, even though a yellow sticker on the side warns: May Cause Dizziness! Now, you can look at this two ways. 1.) Don't take anything that might cause dizziness; or 2.) While the vertigo will make me dizzy in one direction, the pills will make me dizzy in another direction, countering the effects.

Pete wasn't sure about the drugs left in the counter but he started to find out how this patient got here in the first place.

Dr. Angel Cruz was a psychiatrist with a strong resume dealing with neurotic and paranoid characters or "nut jobs" so he thought that the subject Vic Sage would be a walk in the park…he was wrong…the room was green and comfortable and a long couch was in front of him…Vic just made his entrance…a six foot and two hundred pound faceless guy walked in…the doctor was startled by his presence…he would not be intimidated by the subject…so he stood up and presented himself.

-Hi I'm Dr. Cruz- The doctor tried to get a handshake.

-I know- The question asked.

-May I implied how do you know? - The doctor responded.

-I can read the tag…I'm faceless not blind- The question reacted.

-Do you know why you are here? - The doctor asked trying to start with a question.

-They say I beat the living crap of a nun- the question added with disdain.

-Do you believe you did? - The doctor was trying to take notes.

-It was a Batman plan with the help of my ex- Q was certain of his answer.

-Why did you bring you ex into this? - The doctor was sitting next to him.

-She is Italian- Q responded.

-You say because she is Italian she is prone to violence- The doctor was taking notes.

-Have you seen the godfather? - Q asked with a neutral tone of voice.

-Yes- The doctor responded.

-She is like ten times worst than the godfather daughter, you remember the one that had a husband that used her like a sparring partner without gloves…she hated her brothers until she died- Q kept talking then suddenly felt like thinking about butterflies, damn this drugs are good.

-I don't understand the analogy- The Dr. responded with a sarcastic tone.

-The guy who supposedly killed my "ex" parents got hit by over a ton of material from the port- Q added.

-Did the guy manage to survive? - The Dr. was trying to make small talk.

-For his misfortune yes, next time she will use a helicopter to chop him off- Q responded with a sarcastic smile.

-Why do you say she wanted to imprison you? -The doctor asked while taking more notes, he felt weird because the results don't add up.

-We where watching the matrix and I told her she looked liked Monica Bellucci- Q responded.

-Is that something to be upset about? that woman is one of the sexiest girls in the world- The doctor responded.

-She happens to be fat- Q responded.

-OK, moving on why do you say it was Batman? - The doctor was trying to see if he made up an external tormentor.

-Calamine- The question added.

-Excuse me- the Dr. didn't understand what did have to do with the question he just made.

-I had a theory about Batman's underwear- Q was getting comfortable on the couch.

-And it was? - The doctor felt played by the patient, he was loosing his cool.

- I traded the calamine for liniment- Q was getting comfortable.

-And the result was…- The doctor was feeling frustrated with Q who wasn't going for his techniques.

-He couldn't work for a week- Q responded with satisfaction…-and I also made 300 bucks-

-How did you manage that? - The doctor was trying not to think about the discomfort of a burned groin area.

-I bet Wonder Woman wouldn't work either- Q was getting sleepy… those drugs they were giving him had some soothing effect, he felt like sleeping….so he moved to the side and left the doctor by himself.

-Excuse me- The doctor was now upset with Q.

-Do you know what do all those heroes have in common? - Q asked.

-Besides being brave and bold- The Doctor reacted.

-They all were tights…it could have happen to anyone- Q lowered his tone of voice.

The doctor felt a cold feeling in his back, he got scared.

-This is the part where you going to ask me what day it is- Q responded without looking back.

-Do you known what they it is? - The Dr was almost hysterical.

-Monday, 4 o'clock in the afternoon- Q responded now returning to his initial position.

-How did you know that? - The doctor was surprised that he knew the date and the time.

-Some stupid guy left the newspaper on top of the desk and when I moved I could see the clock outside your room.

-Are you calling me stupid? - The Dr. was now furious…

-Did you left the paper on top of the desk? – Q responded.

-Maybe yes, maybe not- The doctor was trying to make Q go angry while keeping his sanity intact.

-Maybe you are stupid, maybe you're not…but just be sure you know they have this I.Q. Test on the internet…- Q added with a smile.

The doctor felt a switch flipped inside his head…he was going to kill him…but then and alarm sound…the hour was over….Q didn't felt like moving so he stayed sleeping on the couch….Dr. Cruz called for a transfer the same day…he would have nightmares for a week.

Hope you like it, please review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for your reviews, now we get to the really weird part…if you can't stand Tom Cruise jokes please don't burden yourself reading this, if you are a fan of Mel Gibson please do read at your own risk, but if you enjoy the fist chapter and want to bring hell to therapy please enjoy and review, it means a lot to me. **

Day 7

Q was being a pain in the ass for the crew working at the hospital, the first couple of days the patients were convinced that there was a strange medicine in the water supply and made the nurses buy out of their pockets Gatorade or Dr. Pepper… then he convince them that the Gatorade had funny colors and made them buy another drink and so on… we couldn't tell if the pills were actually working on subject Q because we couldn't see his face…we tried the criminal database and the only thing we found was this sentence tag along a forgotten webpage: Aha, so you think you can catch me, I am the question!

Dr. Cruz skipped town and even left his last paycheck in the administration, the left a note saying that he would prefer watching a "Marilyn Manson Christmas Special" than to go back to the hospital to deal with that "nutcase", his check magically disappeared for a couple of days only to be change in a bank close to a supermarket for an excessive amount of gummy bears and Baskin Robbins ice cream that found their way though to the hospital creating havoc since the nice flavors like Pralines n' Cream an Chocolate Chip where send to Q and the other had flavor like: "Something that looks like fudge" and "some kind of fruit" were delivered to the rest.

Dr. Irving mysteriously disappeared after just one group session and this is a transcript of a group therapy session involving other celebrities like Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson, trying to find the real problem of this so called conspiracy vigilante:

-Hi my name is Dr. Irving- The doctor presented himself in a professional manner, just like he has done many times before since his days in medical school.

-Who cares? - Someone shouted in the group.

-Who said that? –The doctor gave a hard glance at the group. This was not going to be easy.

-I did- Q responded while raising his hand, he was wearing pajamas a fedora hat and bunny slippers.

-Why did you say that? - I asked waiting for a rational explanation.

-It's quite easy Doc, they told us your name before, there is a schedule with your name on it and you are wearing a name tag with an awful lavender color… and by god we are crazy but not stupid, except for this sucker over here- Q pointed at Tom Cruise who was wearing his trademark black t-shirt.

-I'm not stupid, I'm dyslexic- Tom cruise replied with a smile. And then he kept talking just like in Oprah: "Hey, I do my work. I live my life. My personal life has never affected anything before, but what does it matter? I can't control what people are going to say and do. It's never going to change how I live my life."

-And what does that mean? - Q responded with curiosity, it's like watching a fanatical monkey pump on energy drinks.

-Well…I don't know- He said while trying to find a cell phone to called his publicist but you know what "You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do."

-Did you go to school to back that argument? - Q responded trying to piss him off.

-"It doesn't matter to me what your opinion is. I was someone who went to many different schools growing up even if I drop out every time. I learned very early on I didn't have the right pair of shoes, didn't have the right accent, made stupid movies like cocktail, Interview with a gay vampire, or rain man, they are going to judge you ... and there's just a point where you go, there are just those people in the world that you should never worry about that, they are named movie critics." And I bought a P.h.D at some university for people to called me Dr…you know I'm rich- Tom responded with confidence… then added:" I'll go Ethan Hunt on your ass"

-You mean cool Hunt in MI2 or wimpy Hunt in MI3? - Q responded without hesitation, this tom character is off the hook…he is worst than The Flash on Viagra….

-I don't know really, now you got me all mix up- Tom Cruise responded with a 200 watts smile this time. (I BET THOSE GLOW IN THA DARK)

-You have a lot in common with the character in Rain Main- Q replied back.

-You mean the part that I played back in 89' it was a good character- Tom remembered his younger years.

-No, the part played by Dustin Hoffman- Q responded with a malicious smile….-But now they had you fired for no apparent reason, the typical Modus Operandi of a conspiracy- he added with his reporter tone of voice.

-Right, some other actor bought down by Hollywood executives- Mel Gibson responded.

-Yes, that jewish son of a ….- Tom was caught off by the hand by Dr. Irving who stood up…which didn't make much of a difference since he is a midget but holding Mr. Cruise was like watching the hobbits from the lord of the rings all over again…he need a phone to call his publicist, like a junkie needed a fix…he needed good press…must stay away from comments regarding Scientology, and his beautiful non Caucasian girl named Suri.

-You do realize that you don't have a cell phone- The Doctor tried to call Tom down, he was having an emotional breakdown after being fired to Sunmer Redstone and not getting the lead part in Gay Gun II…sorry Top Gun II, the lead job was landed by some asshole from the "Will and Grace" cast.

-Doc, Show me the money- Cruise responded with a 100 watts smile again, he needed the cell phone…need to talk to his scientology counselor named John Travolta.

-You know I can't give you my cell phone to call outside the facilities- The Dr. replied with professional courtesy.

-And why is he using one? - Tom quickly added, it was true Q was talking with someone over the phone, Dr. Irving's phone.

-Give me that- the good Dr. took the phone away from Q and then added: -who were you talking to? - The doctor added.

-You wife, I was explaining her how to make good Italian meatballs, big, juicy and tasty meatballs- Q responded with a smile.

-How did you found my house number? - The Dr. was losing his good mood, these guys were annoying him.

-It was on the cell phone - Q responded with a dark bloodcurdling tone.

The doctor stepped back scared of the tone of voice used by the patient known as "Q" it was not was he said, but how he said it that is going to hunt him like Jason's movies.

-is this my cell phone, how did you get it? - The Dr. tried to remember were did he left it because he never came to the session with the cell phone.

-That my good doctor is the question? - Q responded with a smile.

-Do you know why you people are here? - The Dr. asked the group.

-I was drunk and honest…it's all part of the globalization- Mel Gibson answered the doctor.

-Can you elaborate a little more? - The Dr. asked the trouble actor/ director.

-"I grew up in Australia, I was drinking alcohol from Mexico in my Japanese car while yelling about the Jews in Israel. You know where I was coming from? A Thai restaurant. Welcome to America."- Mel Gibson replied with a serious tone…then he added: Everybody is so picky this days.

-Don't you feel responsible for your comments and actions? - The Dr. asked Mel Gibson.

-Do you feel responsible to the lack of sex in your marriage? - Mel Gibson replied back with his Muhammad beard and crazy eyes.

-I beg you a pardon- The Dr. could not believe the world uttered by the award winning director.

-You remember "Braveheart" – Mel Gibson luscious smile was coming out.

-Yes- The good Dr. was hesitant about answering the question.

-I got some play time because the husband of the French chick, well let's say he was a "fairy" without the "tale" part- Mel eyes were popping out of the excitement…

-Where are you going with this? - The Dr. was now very curious, therapy has just become weirder, like the phantom zone weird…

-I think our faceless and creepy friend went to your house to give your wife a taste of his juicy meatballs- Mel was just warming up.

Then the doctor looked around and couldn't find "Q" around the room, he could not possibly think he would go for it…he tried to control himself and told the guys he was goin outside for a couple of minute, he ran to his car and disappeared into the night wondering if the deranged actor was telling the truth.

A couple of minutes later Q comes in with a big bowl of Ice Cream…Tom Cruise is jumping in the couch, don't ask him why….

-What brought you here? - Mel Gibson asked the man only known as "Q"

-I beat the living shit out of a nun- Q responded while taking chunks of chocolate of the top of the Ice Cream.

-Really- Mel Gibson responded with awe….that's mean.

Pete "the male nurse" walked in and told Q he had a visitor… he looked around and then shouted…Who?

-A chick named Helena- Pete responded.

-Shit, I'll be there in 5 minutes- that is all that Q could muster at the time.

**Hope you enjoy it, please review**


	3. Chapter 3

A long corridor that is filled with questions…

I felt compelled to put a nice FACE for the loving lady in this gruesome environment and awful circumstances…sorry about that I was reading Hamlet last night (drama, drama) besides the stating the obvious (I have no FACE!) to see Helena after all this time, but come to think of it, this is all her fault, not that I would ever admitted it in from of anyone…not including Wonder Woman and her special "truth telling" lasso, Do you imagine the things that might come out of my mouth? I've guess that is why she never tried it on Batman…she is not bold enough.

-What did you do to her? - Pete asked Q with sincerity.

-I told her the truth- Q responded while enjoying his Ice Cream.

-And that pissed her off? - Pete responded with confusion.

- She asked me if I thought she was fat and I told her she was fat as a cow- Q added.

Pete "the male nurse" walked behind Q and lifted his head up to the sky and watched the clouds…it was going to be a dark rainy day, the movement didn't go unnoticed by Q who said…they are looking for ways to poison you….believe me….I know… especially after going over you email account, medical records, and credit cards account…a pink elephant, my god!! Is that not weird I don't now what is?

Pete who was used to this crazy conversations pretended to go along this time just to see what the patient only known as "Q" had to offer: - Who?- and most important -Why do you say so?-

-"Your mother… she had high hopes for you in College, but you wanted to become a male nurse and hide yourself here"- Q responded with a smile.

-Do you know my mother?- Pete was feeling bit curious after seeing the number played on Dr. Irving with the wife.

-"I guess I know Indhira….I also happened to known about Chaz"- Q responded again now stopping a moment to think about the little number he is going to play on Pete "the male nurse"

-And? - Pete was a little bit uncomfortable with a patient knowing about his private life.

-You know Pete (pretending to be likable) people should mind their own business and just let others be (that is one of the best political lines...sorry lies ever) if I were you, I go to Spain a bullfight a matador…(where do I come up with this shit?) but going out with your football buddie is such a cliché.

-Yeah, my mom has been bummed since I told her about Chaz (the tackler of his heart), but do you think she is capable of poison me? - Pete was now feeling very scared… this guys had the weirdest way to prove a point.

-And how is your father taking it?- Q tried to mimic Dr. Irving's pose but the ice cream made it difficult, damn those chocolate chips.

-He is cool with that, I guess he always knew…- Pete responded with a smile.

-So you actually think the Ricky Martin poster, the Calvin Klein ads and the ice skating fascination didn't tip him off? - Q asked with awe. Some people can be so naïve.

-Are you always this dense? - Pete was now furious.

-Yes- Q responded…then looked around and watched a sing the read: "The visiting room"…not that he had any visitor…ever.

-Pete moved to the side and pushed the bowl of Ice Cream to the ground… Pete was a couple of inches taller than him but outweighted him by over a hundred pounds… it seems that he and Chaz had other hobbies, did I hear dumbbells anyone?

Q dropped the plastic spoon so Pete's eyes would look down and in a quick motion Q head butted the mastodon with such precision that the unconscious fellow landed against the wall… Q then knelt to pick up the fedora hat…and opened the door.

Helena was wearing a beautiful brown 3 piece business suite and her beautiful hair was in a long ponytail… with couple of months without any entertainment but TV action or a strip club she was looking devilishly sexy…in more ways than one.

-How are they treating you Q? - Helena's tone was neutral, like a lawyer or a doctor on a first check up, before they seen you naked…or charge you the first fat bill.

-I get to beat the crap of a male nurse- Q responded with the most dignity a man wearing bunny slippers and a fedora hat can.

-How many hits? - Helena asked while extending her hand on a professional manner.

Q lifted his right hand with one finger up, but didn't notice the handshake; he was pretty bummed about getting chocolate chip on his fedora. That is one of the thing that made being lock up so difficult, you can't get dry cleaning service.

Helena gave him a thumps up look and then added with disdain:" Going all out against people that care for others?" What, super villains were not doing the trick anymore?" What is next…Doctors?

-Is your baby blue eyes sex puppet going to med school anytime soon? - Q responded.

-No that I know of… Hey! how do you know about him? - Helena screamed at him.

-That is the question- Q responded with a smile.

-But if he does, he is going to help people live longer- Helena was getting her composure back.

-As opposed to you killing them, does he know how did you pay your rent? - Q was being sarcastic…a doctor and an assassin, what are the chances?

-You haven't changed one bit since being locked up in here- Helena replied back.

-We have been over this in the JLA. If you have nothing new to add I'll go and watch Oprah- Q said with irony.

-If I think you were capable of listening, I'll shut up- Helena's eyes glow with discomfort.

-That makes no sense at all- Q moved his shoulder in amazement, this is not what he expected…

-There must be something abnormal and twisted inside of you- Helena's face flustered with anger.

-That's so close-minded. I'm not 'abnormal', I'm special- Q replied back with a smile.

-Always with the gun-ho attitude, take charge, search and destroy! - Helena quickly and sadly replied.

-I wish I could have a non sexual comeback…but I'm too horny- Q answered and smiled back…

-I have a life now, no more killings, no more being the strong one, just a girl named Helena...a dinner and a movie kind of girl- Helena was having doubts about coming here, she expected him to be different, to care for the gesture…but he will never change.

-It all amounts to you being bored with your boy toy- Q responded.

-You know… You're abrasive and annoying and come on way too strong, like... chilli with red peppers. When you're crazy about chilli, that's fine, but, no matter how much you love chilli, you have too much of it, it takes the roof of your mouth off. And then you never want to see chilli for a really, really long time, but you wake up one day, and you think... God, I really miss chilli…but is bad to your heath…as so are you.

-Does that mean I'm hot and steamy? - Q drew closer to her…he could smell her perfume…a soft vanilla essence, her presence was intoxicating…she didn't move, there was passion in the air…

-Do you think that two people who weren't meant to be together may find peace close to each other? Maybe they'll get a happy ending just because they both want it so much.- Helena's eyes were closed and her fist clenched together.

-Yeah that is how it usually works- Q was almost kissing her.

The door opened, it was Pete "the male nurse"and he was scared…. The patients were loose inside the building and they couldn't go out…they were trapped inside the room.

**Please review**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm very sorry I haven't update this story sooner, hopefully you Hill find a way to forgive me.**

**Chapter 4: Scattered ashes **

-Mr. Q we might have a situation? - Pete told Q while holding his broken nose.

-Are you stupid? We already have a situation…I was this close of getting laid- Q answered back angrily while putting his hands together.

-You think I'm that easy- Helena responded back getting her composure back on track, after all she was an Italian lady; she should never look desperate…no matter how horny she was.

-I know you are honey- Q said with a soft innocent tone of voice and then added with a charming tone - Do you think we can have something quick and spare the "I love you" and "I've missed you part"?

-No- she responded while looking for something in her purse, he only wished for condoms instead she took out a cell phone…It was going to be one of those days.

-Can you call the guy in the blue spandex? - Q asked Helena while making a mental count of the inmates.

-I don't think so- Helena was dialing 911 in despair.

-Why? - Pete realized they were talking about superman.

-!Because they fired her ass…that's why!- Q responded with an ironic smile…they were at least 200 inmates and someone was going to do something stupid, it was just a matter of time…besides they had Tom Cruise…things were not looking up for him, who knows what the midget might do to get some publicity.

-Is that how you want to get in my panties? - Helena's face was flustered with anger…No way we're doing this now.

-You take a perverse pleasure at turning me down- Q responded almost upset, no dry cleaning, no jelly beans, no sex, and no doctors to pick on…this place sucks.

-It's what I live for. Once in a while, though, try to ruin my day. Ask me something I can say "yes" to. Helena responded with a sweet almost childish voice.

-Can you call your surrogate father? you know the one with the black spandex suit- Q responded trying to get a reaction.

-I'll kill you retarded so of a $&- Helena threw the phone against him, Q dodge and started running away from her…she was mad.

Pete trying to control the chaos on the room tried to tackle her since she was smaller than Q and for his surprised she jumped on top of him, and kicked him in the back of the skull knocking him unconscious, then throwing his body to the ground against a corner… that would take care of him for a couple of minutes..-You know I'll never get convicted for killing a deranged patient inside the asylum- Helena's voice was hoarse and deep.

-This is a mental hospital girl get you're facts straight- Q was moving backwards waiting for her to jump on him, the medication had an awful side effect…he wasn't as quick as he wanted to… she was on the top of her game…he was going to lose.

-You got a big "Keep Out" sign stapled on your forehead- Helena was getting closer to him.

-That explains it, I told them to put it on my door- Q was trying to reach and agreement.

-Even if real human contact is something you don't have or even want or need, you should at least be able to see it in other people- Helena stopped her motion, she was getting ready for the attack, like a big cat in national geographic…a big fat cat, thinking like that was one of the thing that got me in this mess…Q thought to himself…for some reason she started crying.

-Very noble gesture. My favorite kind: dramatic, yet completely empty- Q responded and even dared to smile, he just couldn't help himself.

It happened in a second…she tackle him and he didn't put a fight…she kicked him and punched him over and over again…and in an instant second she kissed him with force trying to bite off his lips while holding his hair on her fingernails and pushing him down on the floor…she wanted to press her lips so hard that blood just started to flow from his mouth, he moved around her and got on to up her…she felt him and playfully moan…she gasp for some air and said in a whisper: It seems you missed me!

-Is that or these pills are really good- Q responded while trying to break her garments.

Exactly in that moment a psychotic stomp inside the room, he was a large man and while as soon as he realized what those two were doing jump right ahead to the action…Q tried to stop him but he got sucker punch and he landed in the other corner of the room…he had to blame it on the pills, he couldn't be getting that old.

Helena quickly got the crazy man with a one punch and two kicks combo, she tried to see if the cell phone worked, but just as they expected it, it was broken…she was trying to closed the door, since her dress was broken (geez…I wonder why) and helped Q getting up.

-You know you look kind of cute under this circumstances, even if you keep doing stupid things- Helena told Q.

-Everybody does stupid things, but it shouldn't cost them everything they want in life- Q responded.

-No, it shouldn't, but it usually does. On the other hand…it means someone can actually beat the Batman- Helena responded with a smile…then an explosion pushed them against the wall and destroyed the door filling the room with a sulfur smell and broken glass.

Helena tried to grab Q's arm…he was determine to get out and to stop the madness, it would not be long until crazy Mel Gibson started believing he was Torquemada in the Spanish inquisition and start murdering those infidels formerly known as doctors.

Q kissed her in the forehead and started to run towards the hallway….screaming to the top f his lungs….-I have the jelly beans-

Helena couldn't understand his plan and quickly passed out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: My brain is not a nice place to be**

Suddenly I was supposed to become the hero of this situation, if I were a religious man I would say that this is part they skip in the book of revelation…I see what caused the explosion a moment ago… Mel Gibson was doing some reenactments of his last work "Apocalypto" about a bunch of pansies with cannibalistic passion and a beloved love for the color blue… did I mention they looked pretty gay? I rather go for tights…and that is never going to happen!

-I have to get to the pills- Q told himself just to keep himself in focus, trying to forget that Helena was almost naked and willing in the visiting room, mercy lord…for I am very horny.

-People of Scotland! - Mel Gibson was doing a line from Braveheart using a mop like a sword, a moment later someone threw a baseball at him that got him on the head…a couple of moments later he went "mad max" on the poor soul.

Q was running and was sucker punched by Tom Cruise who was wearing the MI2 sunglasses, Q felt to the floor unconvinced that a little man like that could knock him out…he was in full Ethan Hunt mode, he wanted to save the day...he needed the good publicity to get out, be a hero, do another Steven Spielberg movie and kill Sumner Redstone and those bastards from paramount, plus finding out why "Suri" is non-Caucasian.

-Step away Frodo- Q did not have a lot of patience…he needed to cross the hall fast and get to the meds in time.

-Coming here was the mistake of your life. See, the closer I am to someone, the stronger I get. I'll be able to go in your brain, even if you're wide awake- He was dancing around like a Muhammad Ali wannabe…

-My head is not a nice place to be- Q punched Tom Cruise in the gut with a powerful left hook and then another jab to the head with the right arm…before fainting Q grabbed him by his US$200 t-shirt a threw him into the crowd.

The crowd stopped until a skinny fellow screamed: -That guy killed Jerry McGuire- and everyone then attacked Q who started running towards the hall.

Pete "the male nurse" woke up… his head was pretty messed up and he felt nausea, but he remembered that he called "Q' for help. He stepped outside and watched in despair the madness taking over the asylum… than a puny little man running in front a crazy mob that wanted to kill him…and Mel Gibson playing Martin Riggs the crazy cop in the "lethal weapon series". He screamed at Q: -What can I do to help?-

-Would you charge my Ipod? - Q responded with disdain.

-What would want me to do that? - Pete perplexed with the request responded.

-Are you that stupid or are you pretending? - Q was now running with a deranged monkey on his back…no sorry it was Tom Cruise.

-What? - Pete couldn't understand because of the noise around him.

Q lifted the crazy monkey and threw on top of the crowd (sorry again it was Tom Cruise, I just get mixed up, honestly) and screamed at Pete: Do you have a dentist office?

-Yes- Pete screamed back.

- Ok- I need you to throw those tanks of "Novocain" into the lunch hall and then close the door behind me, Can you do that? - Q was trying to buy time by dancing a polka…they thought it was some mystical form of Martial Art.

-But you will be trapped with those lunatics! - Pete screamed back.

-Probably, but I am already crazy- Q responded… suddenly the madhouse has grown quiet as Mel Gibson approached "Q" he was certainly the ringleader and if he didn't move they wouldn't go after him.

-Join us now in this fight against our oppressor- Mel Gibson was doing Hamlet.

-Who elected _you_? The problem with democracy is, it doesn't keep you very safe- Q responded with a bloodcurdling tone.

-What do you want brother? - Mel Gibson said with condescending tone, he was out of here…this performance was so much better than the one on the internet…ok, so I have an illegal downloading company… sue me… I'm a superhero, ok...maybe I'm not anymore but the general public doesn't know that.

-I need self help books…a lot of them- Q responded with sarcasm.

-Self-help books? You don't seem the type- Mel Gibson was now a cop…

-I read whatever I can find. Anyway, I've got issues - what with kicking the shit out of nun and all- Q was buying time but they were getting too close to comfort.

-So you rather die as a martyr? - The crowd was getting awfully close…Mel Gibson was ranting again, who knows what character he might switch too, the Passion of the Christ came to mind…too gruesome to be true, after all we're all crazy.

-We can't let everything we have be ruined by a silly misunderstanding! – Q screamed with theatrical flare.

-And just what is that I'm not understanding? - Mel Gibson replied, he was playing Pilato's part…crazy fuck.

-All this time I expected you to hate me because I was against the revolution of the masses, not because I am a Jewish cop that lives in L.A. - Q responded while looking at Pete who signaled the trap was in place.

-Are you a Jew Cop? sorry man but now I really have to kill you- Mel Gibson replied.

Q started to run towards the lunch hall with all the crazies behind him….he sees the smoke and havoc ensues…everyone started laughing hysterically and hitting each other out of despair…he goes to the back of the room to the fridge, he opened it up and found the 10 gallon ice cream… he dips his head inside yto avoid inhaling the gas….he starts to feel dizzy…he hates strawberry ice cream…Pete stole the chocolate chip's gallon and switched, mother……

A moment later he passed out.

**Hope you enjoyed it **


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